S.O.S.

I'm going to tell on myself, .....again. This is so typical of my life experiences.

It all started with a new alarm clock. The old one still worked, most of the time. But, occasionally it let us down. Since I'm more or less retired now, it hasn't been a major issue. Especially since I can't sleep at night anyway. So Bear hasn't been late to work, but we talked about replacing the alarm clock anyway, just in case. His schedule varies from going into work at 7am or as late as 4pm.

As a not very typical woman, I don't like to shop. So I kept putting it off. Or maybe I just kept forgetting. Whatever. So, when I found a "special" slip, tucked in with my credit card bill for an alarm clock radio, I was tickled. And it has everything. Big numbers. Dual alarms. And a not very important, to me, feature that directed the time onto the wall or ceiling. AND, best of all it's one of those you don't have to set. When you plug it in, it sets itself. And resets itself every time the power goes out, with a battery for backup if the alarm needs to go off while the power is still off.

Well, it was delivered. And I read all about it before I plugged it in. And it worked. I didn't even have to change the time zone. I set both alarms and even turned on the ceiling light feature. Which doesn't show up in the daylight, so I forgot it.

Bear worked till 11pm and when he got home the numbers were on the ceiling. He loved it. Those numbers are huge. Even without my glasses, I could make out the time. A little bit fuzzy, but easy to read. We played with the direction setting until we liked the location. When he works that late, he doesn't go to bed very early. And, I have an even worse schedule. I was up till somewhere around 3:30am. and when I slipped into bed, I turned right onto my side. Never noticed those numbers on the ceiling.

Now imagine my waking up about an hour and a half later. (Yes, that is typical. I'm the worst insomniac.) My shoulder was sore and I rolled over on my back. "Good Lord. What is that?" Remember, I'm drowsy, groggy, and this must be a senior moment to top all. What I'm seeing on my ceiling is a huge red S O S. My mind starts racing. S O S, that's a disaster. But, what disaster? My befuddled mind jumps to the logical conclusion. "God has sent me a message! This is my last day on Earth. I'm going to die and my guardian angel is warning me." While my mind races with what I want to do before it's too late, I'm still staring at that big red S O S. Blink and it's still there! Then, "What the......" The second S turns into a 6. Now I'm staring at the S O 6, totally confused, when realization finally sinks in. What I'm seeing is 5:06am. It was 5:05 and now it's 5:06 and those are numbers.....not letters! And I can breath again.

I'm not normal!

Discussion? Or, Argument?

Wellll, my horoscope (not that I believe in them!) says that I should write my feelings in my journal or blog. Since I've been ignoring this blog for awhile, and I haven't been able to get this horoscope thing our of my mind today, here is something that has been bothering me for quite some time now.

I've come to the conclusion that men like to argue with men. Women like to discuss things when they disagree. But the men I know don't like to discuss any disagreement with women or wives. What really bothers me is that every time a woman has a different opinion, and wants to discuss it....the man in her life is ready to accuse her of starting an argument. Why can't a difference of opinion be discussed without turning into a battle? Even when I don't want to fight, just discuss, things get heated beyond control. Why can't thoughts be exchanged without one or the other trying to convince the other that they are WRONG? Why is this right or wrong thing so dad burned important anyway? A discussion shouldn't be to prove who's right, it should be to exchange ideas. But, I've never yet met a man who will just discuss. Most men don't even like to talk. Even magazine articles will tell us that. And we women are accused of talking about anything and all the time. OK, let's skip the idea of talking about feelings. That is just not something a man will even consider. We women can work that out among ourselves. Since we have to anyway. But, when it comes to conversation about something that happened or something seen on T.V. or any obvious point, and two people (man and woman) see it in a different light, why can't it be discussed? Why does the man, or woman in some cases, need to convince the other that they saw it wrong, or got it wrong, or just didn't get it at all? And why can't this discussion be a discussion and not have it turn into an argument?

As you may know, or have gathered, I have been called a "drama queen" because I show too much passion in things I believe in. Is that so very wrong???? Why can't it be OK, to show feelings when I take things seriously? Why do others feel the need to "calm me down" when all I've done is show some emotion? But, mostly, why is this emotion considered to be arguing. Can't I discuss with dramatic emotion, such as my voice getting a bit louder and more animated, without being accused of starting an argument? Usually I'm just excited....NOT ANGRY. At first......but, yes, I can get very angry when I'm told to calm down. Instantly, I'm a bit ticked off, when I'm not allowed to be me.....without criticism.

My husband likes to watch the Judge shows that are popping up on T.V. I'm noticing that others like me are not being taken seriously by those judges. Get even a bit emotional, and suddenly you are treated like your case doesn't have merit. That dead-pan liar will be believed over the emotional person every time. WHAT? WHY? When did the world decide the drama queens are not honest or trust worthy? When I see this or it happens to me, I respond in one of two ways. I slip away and cry or I get angry. Yup, I'm a drama queen.

There was a quote I saw once. Wish I could remember it exactly. Something about not trusting anyone without passion, because anyone without passion is not alive and feeling and caring. That should be the rule, not the exception. But the way things are headed nowadays, I feel like I don't belong in this world. I've tried to stay calm and act like everyone around me. But, that leaves me feeling dead inside. Not true to myself. It crushes my spirit.

When I was a child, I received some teasing. Not the vicious kind. The laughing kind where others joined in with my mood. I felt accepted by friends who understood me and accepted me. Since I came from a drama queen Mother and a Father who had a temper, and they both yelled a lot, I accepted my personality as being OK. No violence. Just yelling and animated talk. Even when we argued, it only got loud. But, now I find myself in a world that doesn't laugh with me and join in....I'm told to calm down. And every time I get passionate about any subject, I'm accused of starting an argument.

This is all very confusing to me. Can anyone explain why?

Surrounded by Idiots

I thought that we gained patience when we got older. Then I decided I have plenty of patience. The world just doesn't include the common sense I remember. Somehow I keep running into the morons that have invaded my daily life. Shouldn't the odds be in my favor to get to deal with an intelligent being at least half the time?

We are planning a garage sale. We've been hauling things out to the garage for several weeks. I'm just about ready to get this over with. So, I phoned the newspaper office with my questions. She answered the phone, and I told her I needed to talk to someone who could answer questions about garage sale adds. She said she could. My first question was, "How many days ahead do I need to turn in the add?" Her answer, "That depends on when the sale is." I had to think about that. Where did I go wrong in my question? I tried again. "What is the deadline for a classified add to appear in the next days paper?" Her answer was, "I don't know, let me check." And she left me hanging. I thought she said she could help me, and she can't answer the most obvious question??? She finally came back and told me it was too late to put a garage sale add in the paper for this weekend. DUH! I'm calling on a Friday at 1:30 p.m. And, I never said I wanted it this weekend!!!! So I repeated the question exactly as I last stated it. She left again. Came back and said the the deadline is 3:30 in the afternoon the day before it is to appear. I resisted saying that was like pulling teeth. OK. On to the next question. "What is the charge per line and how many spaces would a line be? This one totally threw her. She told me someone would have to call me back when they finished with a customer at the counter. I managed to Thank her, politely, and I hung up. Then, as per my usual reaction, I unloaded on my poor Hubby. (Who probably wishes he had to work today.) Something along those lines of why do I always get the morons on the phone. How can someone work at the newspaper and not know the basics of the newspaper business?

About an hour later a lady called me back. She was able to tell me that the price is $2.25 per line. But when I asked how many spaces the add is per line, she didn't know. SHE DIDN'T KNOW. Then she told me she couldn't tell me the price till she typed up my add. I thanked her and went looking for last nights paper, where I counted the spaces in some of the garage sale adds. I worked up my add, and I have a pretty good idea of what it will cost me. Why do folks make something so simple, so hard? And, why do I always get to talk to these people?