Discussion? Or, Argument?
Wellll, my horoscope (not that I believe in them!) says that I should write my feelings in my journal or blog. Since I've been ignoring this blog for awhile, and I haven't been able to get this horoscope thing our of my mind today, here is something that has been bothering me for quite some time now.
I've come to the conclusion that men like to argue with men. Women like to discuss things when they disagree. But the men I know don't like to discuss any disagreement with women or wives. What really bothers me is that every time a woman has a different opinion, and wants to discuss it....the man in her life is ready to accuse her of starting an argument. Why can't a difference of opinion be discussed without turning into a battle? Even when I don't want to fight, just discuss, things get heated beyond control. Why can't thoughts be exchanged without one or the other trying to convince the other that they are WRONG? Why is this right or wrong thing so dad burned important anyway? A discussion shouldn't be to prove who's right, it should be to exchange ideas. But, I've never yet met a man who will just discuss. Most men don't even like to talk. Even magazine articles will tell us that. And we women are accused of talking about anything and all the time. OK, let's skip the idea of talking about feelings. That is just not something a man will even consider. We women can work that out among ourselves. Since we have to anyway. But, when it comes to conversation about something that happened or something seen on T.V. or any obvious point, and two people (man and woman) see it in a different light, why can't it be discussed? Why does the man, or woman in some cases, need to convince the other that they saw it wrong, or got it wrong, or just didn't get it at all? And why can't this discussion be a discussion and not have it turn into an argument?
As you may know, or have gathered, I have been called a "drama queen" because I show too much passion in things I believe in. Is that so very wrong???? Why can't it be OK, to show feelings when I take things seriously? Why do others feel the need to "calm me down" when all I've done is show some emotion? But, mostly, why is this emotion considered to be arguing. Can't I discuss with dramatic emotion, such as my voice getting a bit louder and more animated, without being accused of starting an argument? Usually I'm just excited....NOT ANGRY. At first......but, yes, I can get very angry when I'm told to calm down. Instantly, I'm a bit ticked off, when I'm not allowed to be me.....without criticism.
My husband likes to watch the Judge shows that are popping up on T.V. I'm noticing that others like me are not being taken seriously by those judges. Get even a bit emotional, and suddenly you are treated like your case doesn't have merit. That dead-pan liar will be believed over the emotional person every time. WHAT? WHY? When did the world decide the drama queens are not honest or trust worthy? When I see this or it happens to me, I respond in one of two ways. I slip away and cry or I get angry. Yup, I'm a drama queen.
There was a quote I saw once. Wish I could remember it exactly. Something about not trusting anyone without passion, because anyone without passion is not alive and feeling and caring. That should be the rule, not the exception. But the way things are headed nowadays, I feel like I don't belong in this world. I've tried to stay calm and act like everyone around me. But, that leaves me feeling dead inside. Not true to myself. It crushes my spirit.
When I was a child, I received some teasing. Not the vicious kind. The laughing kind where others joined in with my mood. I felt accepted by friends who understood me and accepted me. Since I came from a drama queen Mother and a Father who had a temper, and they both yelled a lot, I accepted my personality as being OK. No violence. Just yelling and animated talk. Even when we argued, it only got loud. But, now I find myself in a world that doesn't laugh with me and join in....I'm told to calm down. And every time I get passionate about any subject, I'm accused of starting an argument.
This is all very confusing to me. Can anyone explain why?
I've come to the conclusion that men like to argue with men. Women like to discuss things when they disagree. But the men I know don't like to discuss any disagreement with women or wives. What really bothers me is that every time a woman has a different opinion, and wants to discuss it....the man in her life is ready to accuse her of starting an argument. Why can't a difference of opinion be discussed without turning into a battle? Even when I don't want to fight, just discuss, things get heated beyond control. Why can't thoughts be exchanged without one or the other trying to convince the other that they are WRONG? Why is this right or wrong thing so dad burned important anyway? A discussion shouldn't be to prove who's right, it should be to exchange ideas. But, I've never yet met a man who will just discuss. Most men don't even like to talk. Even magazine articles will tell us that. And we women are accused of talking about anything and all the time. OK, let's skip the idea of talking about feelings. That is just not something a man will even consider. We women can work that out among ourselves. Since we have to anyway. But, when it comes to conversation about something that happened or something seen on T.V. or any obvious point, and two people (man and woman) see it in a different light, why can't it be discussed? Why does the man, or woman in some cases, need to convince the other that they saw it wrong, or got it wrong, or just didn't get it at all? And why can't this discussion be a discussion and not have it turn into an argument?
As you may know, or have gathered, I have been called a "drama queen" because I show too much passion in things I believe in. Is that so very wrong???? Why can't it be OK, to show feelings when I take things seriously? Why do others feel the need to "calm me down" when all I've done is show some emotion? But, mostly, why is this emotion considered to be arguing. Can't I discuss with dramatic emotion, such as my voice getting a bit louder and more animated, without being accused of starting an argument? Usually I'm just excited....NOT ANGRY. At first......but, yes, I can get very angry when I'm told to calm down. Instantly, I'm a bit ticked off, when I'm not allowed to be me.....without criticism.
My husband likes to watch the Judge shows that are popping up on T.V. I'm noticing that others like me are not being taken seriously by those judges. Get even a bit emotional, and suddenly you are treated like your case doesn't have merit. That dead-pan liar will be believed over the emotional person every time. WHAT? WHY? When did the world decide the drama queens are not honest or trust worthy? When I see this or it happens to me, I respond in one of two ways. I slip away and cry or I get angry. Yup, I'm a drama queen.
There was a quote I saw once. Wish I could remember it exactly. Something about not trusting anyone without passion, because anyone without passion is not alive and feeling and caring. That should be the rule, not the exception. But the way things are headed nowadays, I feel like I don't belong in this world. I've tried to stay calm and act like everyone around me. But, that leaves me feeling dead inside. Not true to myself. It crushes my spirit.
When I was a child, I received some teasing. Not the vicious kind. The laughing kind where others joined in with my mood. I felt accepted by friends who understood me and accepted me. Since I came from a drama queen Mother and a Father who had a temper, and they both yelled a lot, I accepted my personality as being OK. No violence. Just yelling and animated talk. Even when we argued, it only got loud. But, now I find myself in a world that doesn't laugh with me and join in....I'm told to calm down. And every time I get passionate about any subject, I'm accused of starting an argument.
This is all very confusing to me. Can anyone explain why?
posted by LeeAnn | 6:11 PM
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