Beyond Endurance
Beyond Endurance
It was obvious from the first that Diva and Baby have totally different personalities. The kitten is either asleep or playing or looking for a cuddle. A lot of her playing means looking for trouble. Diva had to learn to play. She would sit in total dignity and watch Baby roll a little plastic ball around making the bells inside jingle. All the natural cat play that comes so easy for Baby seems beyond the dignity of Diva. She must have been very young when she got pregnant. Diva was quiet and watchful and always alert and nervous at anything or anyone new. They learned a lot from each other. Diva learned to play and Baby learned to be nervous. Or possibly that nervousness of Baby's is all my fault.
These two came into my life while I was trying to accept a diagnosis of yet another painful affliction. After having the headaches all my life, I'd recently learned the new pains and fatigue are caused by Fibromyalgia. No wonder I can't sleep. Diva's devotion and trust are a calming balm to me. When I sit down, Diva confiscates my lap. Baby on the other hand, seems to get in a lot of trouble, which upsets me. Like getting into my beading desk and knocking over the storage, spreading and mixing beads in a big mess everywhere. Yup, I was pretty stressed that day.
But this is a story about her pushing me beyond endurance. She won't let me sleep. I have too much trouble getting rest to put up with this too. I can be awake all night and finally feel sleepy around 3 or 4 am. Going to bed before that sleepiness only makes me ache while I lie there wide awake. On this occasion I'd had several exceptionally bad nights in a row and I was exhausted. So around 4am that morning I crawled into bed hoping for at least two hours of sleep before the pain woke me up again. I was just dozing off when Baby climbed across my sore body and put her face into my face. I pushed her away and told her not now. About 10 minutes later she was back in my face. I pushed her away again. 10 more minutes and there she was again. I have an orange spray bottle on the floor by the bed for this very reason. She just won't quit. After (I think) the fourth time, I got the bottle and sprayed her with water. She left, but came back in 10 minutes, just as I was dozing off. Does she have a clock in her head? Is she psychic? How does she know when I'm just falling asleep? This went on a few more times. Then it finally soaked into my sleep deprived fuzzy brain that Baby had found a new game. It's called 'keep the woman awake without getting wet.' I kept the water sprayer in my hand covered by my blanket and I waited. Awake and ready and mad as a wet hen. (Where did that expression come from? I never saw a wet hen. But, I was that mad anyway.) I needed sleep! And I was hurting. And Baby kept me waiting. She has to be psychic! She knew. I waited. And waited. The usual 10 minutes had come and gone. More minutes went by and I began to think she'd tired of her game. It was around 6am by then. TWO HOURS of this!!! I got drowsy again and was just slipping into blessed sleep when I felt her jump onto the bed. I snapped! I sat up with my sprayer and yelled, "Gotcha" and I let her have it before she got to me. She must have been surprised because she stopped and got a face full of water. Then she reacted and took off. But my anger wasn't yet appeased. I sprang out of bed with my orange sprayer and shouted and sprayed and ran after Baby through three rooms. I ran into Bear in the kitchen and the poor surprised man held me while I broke into gulping sobs. Baby was a quivering wet mess hiding under the table. It took Bear a long time to coax her out. Meanwhile I was in the bathroom trying to calm down and understand why I'd done what I'd just done. I only know I desperately needed sleep and a kitten had made a game of keeping me awake. I was pushed beyond any semblance of endurance.
I'm sure the picture of an old woman with an orange spray bottle and chasing a wet frightened kitten completely through the house will eventually be funny to me. It certainly was to son Todd when I told him. I'm getting there, but I'm still upset about it.
The somewhat lasting effects of my breakdown were two wary cats. It took quite awhile for both of them to act the same again. I don't know where Diva was during that crazed dash, but I scared her too. Once I calmed down, I was embarrassed at what I'd done. So there was tension all around. It has been several weeks now. The cats have forgiven me. Baby is just now starting to climb on my sleeping body again. And Diva seeks out my lap when I sit in my recliner. The spray bottle is beside the bed, but I don't think I'll be using it anytime soon. I hope!
It was obvious from the first that Diva and Baby have totally different personalities. The kitten is either asleep or playing or looking for a cuddle. A lot of her playing means looking for trouble. Diva had to learn to play. She would sit in total dignity and watch Baby roll a little plastic ball around making the bells inside jingle. All the natural cat play that comes so easy for Baby seems beyond the dignity of Diva. She must have been very young when she got pregnant. Diva was quiet and watchful and always alert and nervous at anything or anyone new. They learned a lot from each other. Diva learned to play and Baby learned to be nervous. Or possibly that nervousness of Baby's is all my fault.
These two came into my life while I was trying to accept a diagnosis of yet another painful affliction. After having the headaches all my life, I'd recently learned the new pains and fatigue are caused by Fibromyalgia. No wonder I can't sleep. Diva's devotion and trust are a calming balm to me. When I sit down, Diva confiscates my lap. Baby on the other hand, seems to get in a lot of trouble, which upsets me. Like getting into my beading desk and knocking over the storage, spreading and mixing beads in a big mess everywhere. Yup, I was pretty stressed that day.
But this is a story about her pushing me beyond endurance. She won't let me sleep. I have too much trouble getting rest to put up with this too. I can be awake all night and finally feel sleepy around 3 or 4 am. Going to bed before that sleepiness only makes me ache while I lie there wide awake. On this occasion I'd had several exceptionally bad nights in a row and I was exhausted. So around 4am that morning I crawled into bed hoping for at least two hours of sleep before the pain woke me up again. I was just dozing off when Baby climbed across my sore body and put her face into my face. I pushed her away and told her not now. About 10 minutes later she was back in my face. I pushed her away again. 10 more minutes and there she was again. I have an orange spray bottle on the floor by the bed for this very reason. She just won't quit. After (I think) the fourth time, I got the bottle and sprayed her with water. She left, but came back in 10 minutes, just as I was dozing off. Does she have a clock in her head? Is she psychic? How does she know when I'm just falling asleep? This went on a few more times. Then it finally soaked into my sleep deprived fuzzy brain that Baby had found a new game. It's called 'keep the woman awake without getting wet.' I kept the water sprayer in my hand covered by my blanket and I waited. Awake and ready and mad as a wet hen. (Where did that expression come from? I never saw a wet hen. But, I was that mad anyway.) I needed sleep! And I was hurting. And Baby kept me waiting. She has to be psychic! She knew. I waited. And waited. The usual 10 minutes had come and gone. More minutes went by and I began to think she'd tired of her game. It was around 6am by then. TWO HOURS of this!!! I got drowsy again and was just slipping into blessed sleep when I felt her jump onto the bed. I snapped! I sat up with my sprayer and yelled, "Gotcha" and I let her have it before she got to me. She must have been surprised because she stopped and got a face full of water. Then she reacted and took off. But my anger wasn't yet appeased. I sprang out of bed with my orange sprayer and shouted and sprayed and ran after Baby through three rooms. I ran into Bear in the kitchen and the poor surprised man held me while I broke into gulping sobs. Baby was a quivering wet mess hiding under the table. It took Bear a long time to coax her out. Meanwhile I was in the bathroom trying to calm down and understand why I'd done what I'd just done. I only know I desperately needed sleep and a kitten had made a game of keeping me awake. I was pushed beyond any semblance of endurance.
I'm sure the picture of an old woman with an orange spray bottle and chasing a wet frightened kitten completely through the house will eventually be funny to me. It certainly was to son Todd when I told him. I'm getting there, but I'm still upset about it.
The somewhat lasting effects of my breakdown were two wary cats. It took quite awhile for both of them to act the same again. I don't know where Diva was during that crazed dash, but I scared her too. Once I calmed down, I was embarrassed at what I'd done. So there was tension all around. It has been several weeks now. The cats have forgiven me. Baby is just now starting to climb on my sleeping body again. And Diva seeks out my lap when I sit in my recliner. The spray bottle is beside the bed, but I don't think I'll be using it anytime soon. I hope!
posted by LeeAnn | 3:30 PM
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