After W.R.W.
School was out for the summer. At first I avoided my friends. I guess my family attributed that to my breaking up with W.R. and thought it was normal. I'm sure they had no idea of what had happened. They liked W.R. and trusted him as much as I had. At first I wanted Mom to ask questions. She must have thought I'd bring it up if I wanted to talk. Then, once I knew I wasn't pregnant, I was afraid someone would ask questions and I just wanted to forget as soon as possible. I wanted to put the whole thing behind me. I had written to Jan, but told her not to come down. I'd avoided crying, and was afraid if I had her with me, I'd breakdown for sure.
I was 17 and had my senior year ahead of me. I wasn't looking forward to going back to school where people would find out we'd broken up again and might ask questions. But, I had the summer and 4-H and Gypsy and farm chores to help bring things back to normal before then. W.R. did phone a few times, but only came to the house once. Per my request, Mom was hanging up on him and she met him at the door and told him she thought I meant it this time. He gave up after that and I didn't hear from him again. It seemed to be over. If I could just get past it.
Some of the guys from our 4-H club had always hung around during the summer. Helping with the fields or just hanging out with Dad. I was always treated like everyones sister. Either teased or ignored. That actually helped me get through those first weeks. By mid summer, when the fairs started, I was acting normal. Not that I felt normal yet. It had been such a sudden and violent betrayal, and I was beginning to realize I was going to have to deal with it alone. Some of my best friends went to the fairs with me again. They didn't seem to think anything was different. After all, I had broken up with W.R. so many times before. They probably didn't think it would last this time either.
At our county fair that summer, one of the regular crowd had gotten a '57 T-Bird. I think he was just wanting to show it off, but he did take me home from the fair one evening. Then later at the state fair he took me off the grounds to find something to eat. In our group, that practically amounted to a date. I'd known him since we were 10, but he lived several counties away and I only saw him fair weeks at the county fairs we both attended. I probably wasn't very encouraging that summer either. It was too soon. I never saw him after the last fair and then after graduation I didn't go to the fairs the next summer.
School started and things settled into routine. My teacher made me Editor of the School Paper, which took up a lot of time. Then practice for Carousel started.
About the same time school started, G.B. showed up at my house. The same G.B. who had been C's. on again/off again. The one she met on the O.S.U. campus. He asked me for a date and I turned him down. I told C what he had done. She deserved to know. She told me I should have accepted him if I wanted, she wasn't interested in him and didn't care. I still thought he was sleezy, asking me out when he knew C and I were friends. Later on, he showed up again and he had a buddy with him. They wanted me to call a friend and just go get ice cream or something. I suggested calling C and G had the grace to be embarrassed and stammer that it was a bad idea. He didn't "mean to hurt her." I called P and we went out with them. G's friend was also W. Not the same name and he didn't go by both first and middle name. Just W. The four of us had a great time and before I knew it, I was part of a couple again. G and W were both two years older then P and I. They had jobs in factories and lived an hour away.
G shared my interest in music. He had a good singing voice and we sounded great together. But, his real talent was with any musical instrument he picked up. In school he had played the Sax. in the band and in a dance band. He also played a mean honkey tonk piano. We were wandering through a mall one Saturday and he made a bee line for a music store. They had a piano sitting there and he sat down and started to play. Pretty soon a crowd had gathered. He loved that kind of attention and the store manager was encouraging. (We were drawing a lot of people in) G filled that store with people coming in to listen and he was playing everything (not just honkey tonk) that anyone suggested. Someone thought they would stump him by suggesting, "Flight of the Bumblebee" G just grinned and said a piece like that deserved better than a piano. He moved over to an organ and played it. I was hooked. He was so totally opposit from the moody W.R. G was not only fun all the time, he was comfortable with strangers and in any group. My parrents didn't like him though. Dad said he was "cocky" and Mom agreed he was a "show off". But, I was having fun. It was fun to be with P and W too and we were relaxed with each other. A real foursome. In fact, at some of our school dances, we kept hearing people wonder who was with who. We were all together.
I'm not sure how the conversation started. But, I know we were sitting in W's car in my driveway and the conversation had turned serious. That was the night I confided what W.R. had done to me. They were very supportive and talked with me till I had it all out. It was that conversation that finally started my real healing. And made me ignore what my parents thought of G.
I was 17 and had my senior year ahead of me. I wasn't looking forward to going back to school where people would find out we'd broken up again and might ask questions. But, I had the summer and 4-H and Gypsy and farm chores to help bring things back to normal before then. W.R. did phone a few times, but only came to the house once. Per my request, Mom was hanging up on him and she met him at the door and told him she thought I meant it this time. He gave up after that and I didn't hear from him again. It seemed to be over. If I could just get past it.
Some of the guys from our 4-H club had always hung around during the summer. Helping with the fields or just hanging out with Dad. I was always treated like everyones sister. Either teased or ignored. That actually helped me get through those first weeks. By mid summer, when the fairs started, I was acting normal. Not that I felt normal yet. It had been such a sudden and violent betrayal, and I was beginning to realize I was going to have to deal with it alone. Some of my best friends went to the fairs with me again. They didn't seem to think anything was different. After all, I had broken up with W.R. so many times before. They probably didn't think it would last this time either.
At our county fair that summer, one of the regular crowd had gotten a '57 T-Bird. I think he was just wanting to show it off, but he did take me home from the fair one evening. Then later at the state fair he took me off the grounds to find something to eat. In our group, that practically amounted to a date. I'd known him since we were 10, but he lived several counties away and I only saw him fair weeks at the county fairs we both attended. I probably wasn't very encouraging that summer either. It was too soon. I never saw him after the last fair and then after graduation I didn't go to the fairs the next summer.
School started and things settled into routine. My teacher made me Editor of the School Paper, which took up a lot of time. Then practice for Carousel started.
About the same time school started, G.B. showed up at my house. The same G.B. who had been C's. on again/off again. The one she met on the O.S.U. campus. He asked me for a date and I turned him down. I told C what he had done. She deserved to know. She told me I should have accepted him if I wanted, she wasn't interested in him and didn't care. I still thought he was sleezy, asking me out when he knew C and I were friends. Later on, he showed up again and he had a buddy with him. They wanted me to call a friend and just go get ice cream or something. I suggested calling C and G had the grace to be embarrassed and stammer that it was a bad idea. He didn't "mean to hurt her." I called P and we went out with them. G's friend was also W. Not the same name and he didn't go by both first and middle name. Just W. The four of us had a great time and before I knew it, I was part of a couple again. G and W were both two years older then P and I. They had jobs in factories and lived an hour away.
G shared my interest in music. He had a good singing voice and we sounded great together. But, his real talent was with any musical instrument he picked up. In school he had played the Sax. in the band and in a dance band. He also played a mean honkey tonk piano. We were wandering through a mall one Saturday and he made a bee line for a music store. They had a piano sitting there and he sat down and started to play. Pretty soon a crowd had gathered. He loved that kind of attention and the store manager was encouraging. (We were drawing a lot of people in) G filled that store with people coming in to listen and he was playing everything (not just honkey tonk) that anyone suggested. Someone thought they would stump him by suggesting, "Flight of the Bumblebee" G just grinned and said a piece like that deserved better than a piano. He moved over to an organ and played it. I was hooked. He was so totally opposit from the moody W.R. G was not only fun all the time, he was comfortable with strangers and in any group. My parrents didn't like him though. Dad said he was "cocky" and Mom agreed he was a "show off". But, I was having fun. It was fun to be with P and W too and we were relaxed with each other. A real foursome. In fact, at some of our school dances, we kept hearing people wonder who was with who. We were all together.
I'm not sure how the conversation started. But, I know we were sitting in W's car in my driveway and the conversation had turned serious. That was the night I confided what W.R. had done to me. They were very supportive and talked with me till I had it all out. It was that conversation that finally started my real healing. And made me ignore what my parents thought of G.
posted by LeeAnn | 5:10 PM
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