The Aftermath

Our story shocked FlyRod. We were both talking so fast, I don't know how he sorted it all out. My emotions were flying back and forth between anger and grief. It was even worse than the Valentines night that Dad phoned me to say they'd found J's. body. I was a mess. FLF was just excited. Suddenly what had been my story, was real to her.

FlyRod just seemed confused. He sat us down in his office and asked us to wait while he made a phone call. I remember sitting there shaking. FLF took my hand but I couldn't stop. FlyRod never took his eyes off me while he asked someone to connect him to the Wyandot County Sheriff and waited on the phone. He identified himself as the Mount Vernon Chief of Police and said he was calling about some confusion for one of his citizens. He'd barely mentioned my name when it became obvious he'd been interrupted. He listened for some time and I watched the blood literally drain from his face. I could tell he was sorry he'd called with us in the office. But, give him credit, he never took his eyes from mine. He hardly spoke another word and he was white as a sheet when he hung up.

Then he got up and came around the desk. He took both my hands and dropped down in front of my chair. He just kept apologising. The words I remember most were, "I'm so sorry, I sent you into a hornets nest." He told me he should have phoned before he sent me up there. He said he just assumed it was a suicide and I'd been mistaken about the rest because of shock or grief or not wanting to believe.

Once we had both calmed down a bit, he went back to his chair. He was still distraught and kept rubbing his face with both hands. I wanted to know what they had told him over the phone. But, he kept saying he couldn't say. All he would tell me was that it was still an ongoing investigation. That was over 3 years after J died. He kept trying to make me promise to stop asking questions. He scared me by warning me that my family could be in danger if I didn't just forget this. He repeated the comment about "sending me into a hornets nest" several times with apologies over and over. It was all to much to absorb, so confusing and unreal. But he did manage to make the scare real. Which was also the purpose of what the Wyandot County Sheriff had done. I remember being glad I hadn't said anything to any of J's and my family about what the Funeral Director had told me. And now I couldn't say anything to them. I didn't want my parents to feel what I was feeling. And if our other brother knew, would he be able to drop it? I didn't think so.

But what did it really mean? FlyRod asked if I'd ever considered (not that it was...he said) that there might be drugs involved. I just kept defending my brother. If there were drugs involved, then J had stumbled on something he wasn't suppose to see or know and paid with his life. I would never believe he was dealing. He made no secret of using marijuana, which made our Father furious. But there had been a situation in the Marines when J and two buddies had attacked a dealer they'd seen selling drugs to school kids. He would never have been dealing anything himself. FlyRod said that made sense, but he wouldn't tell me more. He listened, but just kept telling me I had to let it go for the sake of everyone I loved.

I'd gone on a search for answers, and all I got was more questions. Questions that have still not been answered 29 years after my brother died. FlyRod and I became friends, but we never mentioned any of this again. I always intended to some day, but he died before that day came. I still talked to my closest friends about it, but FlyRod managed to scare me enough to stop me from asking anymore questions. This is the first time in years I've told J's. story. But, I haven't been able to forget and it still torments me. Especially around this time of year. I still hate Valentines Day. And, when anyone mentions the "Blizzard of 1978", it's not the snow I think of first.