First Four Days
G had been given a couple days off for my arrival. So, the next morning he was able to show me the way to his base in Vogelweh. Time for another lesson. They don't pronounce the letters the same wasy we do. So Vogelweh is pronounced "Fogelvay" And Germany is our word, they call their country Deutscheland. And right now is the time to say the stupidest thing I've done in my whole life was not learning their language. Do you realize how often American G.I.'s and their families are in other countries without any real effort to learn? I helped several Germans with their English, but what I learned was pathetic. It shames me now. But, that was the way it was with most of the people I was around. The G.I. wives spoke English and the Germans were trying to learn English. That's what we spoke.
G and I had to walk to his base to buy our groceries at the Commissary and shop at the P.X. It was still cool in March and and too early to show any spring green. But, it was a beautiful wooded road and I love to walk. I was concerned with trying to carry back everthing on my long list. But, G promised there would be someone to give us a ride. To quickly prove his words, a G.I. stopped and offered us a ride to Vogelwey. We hadn't even walked 2 miles. There were a lot of G.I.'s living in Siegelbach and we never did walk the whole way. It seemed to me that there must have been 75% of the German families in the village renting part of their houses to a G.I. couple. Usually the upstairs. After meeting Eddie from Alabama, I was getting excited about meeting people from al over.
We were dropped off right at the Commissary door. I had a list and G had his own ideas where food was concerned. But, we also had to keep in mind that we still had to get it all back to the apartment. I also needed some measuring cups, etc. There wasn't much room to store things, so I just wanted what I'd use regularly. When I'd checked that cabinet, I found two dishes, two cups, two glasses and two sets of silverware. There was one medium size skillet and one pan. Plus a big pitcher and a few cooking utensils. G said he would be getting his main meal on the base at work. Later, I learned that fresh eggs and vegetables, and some fruit, would be peddled on the streets of the village all summer. Plus real cows milk. If I took my pitcher and paid attention to who was selling, and avoided the goat farmer.
After shopping, G left me on a sidewalk with our supplies while he went off to find us a ride. It didn't take long. People in the Army (all services) are like a family. And that feeling increases when we are in another country. After everything was put away and we'd eaten, we went out to explore the village. It was a small village and I was charmed with everything I saw. G and I were getting reacquainted and everything was going well. He had been there long enough to pick up a lot of information he couldn't wait to share. I did notice there were a lot of warnings and he didn't seem to be very trusting of our hosts. I wasn't sure where that was coming from. It wasn't like him, he'd usually gotten along with others pretty well.
I found out the next day. He had to take me to a meeting at the base for new arrivals. Once a month every new arrival who hadn't attended, had to go to these meetings. We were reminded that it hadn't yet been 20 years since the War and that Germany had been the enemy. We were essentially occupiers in a country who still had some citizens who didn't want us there. If you listened to everything they told us that day, you might be tempted to head for home as quick as you could get there. We were given instructions for evacuation, should it become necessary.We were also each given a surival kit with "orders" to keep it where we could grab it and be ready to leave on a moments notice. And, since G worked in the C.O.'s office, he had a higher clearance which made us bigger targets to someone. (Who that might be, was never clear to me.) We got the "loose lips sink ships" lesson drilled into us. We were told not to talk in front of our landlords or hair dressers or taxi drivers or in a bar or shop, etc. etc. etc. Even if we believed they didn't understand English. I had never for one minute, realized I could be putting myself in danger by making this trip. It was an eye opener. But, I quickly made up my mind that the kindness I'd been shown was not going to be returned with suspicion. If I kept my actions friendly and it was returned, there was no reason to do more than be aware of things around me. I didn't want the army mentality to spoil this once in a lifetime experience. But, first I had to get past my husbands army mentality.
When he was ready to leave for work the next morning, he actually locked me in the apartment and then left. I was so surprised and it was so unexpeced, I didn't even have time to object. Surprise turned to anger. As the day wore on and I couldn't leave those two rooms, even to reach the bathroom and my only water supply, I swayed back and forth between anger and depression. I knew I could not spend two years locked in whenever G wasn't with me. I was working myself up to one hell of a battle if he thought he could control me this way.
There wasn't any battle though. After I raged at him, especially about the bathroom part, he simply said he was protecting me. Then he rufused to talk, argue or listen. He went "deaf and dumb" on me. Nothing I said got any response at all. The next morning, he forcefully pushed me away and locked the door again.
I raised the biggest stink in history. I didn't care about causing a scene or what anyone thought. I made enough noise and kept it up till the landlady came up to see what was going on. When she found the door locked, she left and came back with keys. I know she didn't understand and I didn't have any way to explain. When she opened the door, I just hugged her. And broke down crying. She held me till I was in control again and she was talking the whole time. When she left she was shaking her head, probably in puzzlement and and amazed at the the foreign couple in her house.
I didn't go anywhere that first day. (My fourth in Germany) I was thinking. How was I going to react when G got back. How would he react when he found the door unlocked. I worried and stressed all day. I sat on my window seat and watched other women walking in the street. Some of them were obviously American. I still hadn't decided what to do when the time was drawing near for G's return and I was actually becoming afraid to face it. Then my amazing landlady did a surprising thing. She showed up at the door, (which I'd left wide open) with her keys. With gestures she was trying to make me understand she was going to lock the door again. She seemed to believe G shouldn't know. My mind was racing. Maybe she was right. It would give me time to let G know calmly that I would not live like that. Then the whole situation struck me as funny and I smiled at her and nodded. I had an alli in the very people G was protecting me from. She seemed relieved and hurried away after the door was locked.
Since I still didn't know what I was going to do, I didn't do anything all evening. I imagine G thought he'd won. I was sweet a pie. He never said a word either, though I caught some looks of confusion and he was nervous all evening. I knew I had to come up with a plan. I was not going to put up with his plan for me. Just knowing I didn't have to stay locked up gave me a sense of revenge and a feeling of power. That I was doing it behind his back actually made me feel good too.
The next morning I even told him goodbye nicely. He left with the funniest look on his face. He wasn't gone 5 minutes when I was released again. And, I didn't even have to yell. I gave her another hug, and she was laughing as she went back down the stairs. But, I knew this couldn't go on. I had to figure out how to end it, and hopefully in a way that wouldn't make matters worse.
G and I had to walk to his base to buy our groceries at the Commissary and shop at the P.X. It was still cool in March and and too early to show any spring green. But, it was a beautiful wooded road and I love to walk. I was concerned with trying to carry back everthing on my long list. But, G promised there would be someone to give us a ride. To quickly prove his words, a G.I. stopped and offered us a ride to Vogelwey. We hadn't even walked 2 miles. There were a lot of G.I.'s living in Siegelbach and we never did walk the whole way. It seemed to me that there must have been 75% of the German families in the village renting part of their houses to a G.I. couple. Usually the upstairs. After meeting Eddie from Alabama, I was getting excited about meeting people from al over.
We were dropped off right at the Commissary door. I had a list and G had his own ideas where food was concerned. But, we also had to keep in mind that we still had to get it all back to the apartment. I also needed some measuring cups, etc. There wasn't much room to store things, so I just wanted what I'd use regularly. When I'd checked that cabinet, I found two dishes, two cups, two glasses and two sets of silverware. There was one medium size skillet and one pan. Plus a big pitcher and a few cooking utensils. G said he would be getting his main meal on the base at work. Later, I learned that fresh eggs and vegetables, and some fruit, would be peddled on the streets of the village all summer. Plus real cows milk. If I took my pitcher and paid attention to who was selling, and avoided the goat farmer.
After shopping, G left me on a sidewalk with our supplies while he went off to find us a ride. It didn't take long. People in the Army (all services) are like a family. And that feeling increases when we are in another country. After everything was put away and we'd eaten, we went out to explore the village. It was a small village and I was charmed with everything I saw. G and I were getting reacquainted and everything was going well. He had been there long enough to pick up a lot of information he couldn't wait to share. I did notice there were a lot of warnings and he didn't seem to be very trusting of our hosts. I wasn't sure where that was coming from. It wasn't like him, he'd usually gotten along with others pretty well.
I found out the next day. He had to take me to a meeting at the base for new arrivals. Once a month every new arrival who hadn't attended, had to go to these meetings. We were reminded that it hadn't yet been 20 years since the War and that Germany had been the enemy. We were essentially occupiers in a country who still had some citizens who didn't want us there. If you listened to everything they told us that day, you might be tempted to head for home as quick as you could get there. We were given instructions for evacuation, should it become necessary.We were also each given a surival kit with "orders" to keep it where we could grab it and be ready to leave on a moments notice. And, since G worked in the C.O.'s office, he had a higher clearance which made us bigger targets to someone. (Who that might be, was never clear to me.) We got the "loose lips sink ships" lesson drilled into us. We were told not to talk in front of our landlords or hair dressers or taxi drivers or in a bar or shop, etc. etc. etc. Even if we believed they didn't understand English. I had never for one minute, realized I could be putting myself in danger by making this trip. It was an eye opener. But, I quickly made up my mind that the kindness I'd been shown was not going to be returned with suspicion. If I kept my actions friendly and it was returned, there was no reason to do more than be aware of things around me. I didn't want the army mentality to spoil this once in a lifetime experience. But, first I had to get past my husbands army mentality.
When he was ready to leave for work the next morning, he actually locked me in the apartment and then left. I was so surprised and it was so unexpeced, I didn't even have time to object. Surprise turned to anger. As the day wore on and I couldn't leave those two rooms, even to reach the bathroom and my only water supply, I swayed back and forth between anger and depression. I knew I could not spend two years locked in whenever G wasn't with me. I was working myself up to one hell of a battle if he thought he could control me this way.
There wasn't any battle though. After I raged at him, especially about the bathroom part, he simply said he was protecting me. Then he rufused to talk, argue or listen. He went "deaf and dumb" on me. Nothing I said got any response at all. The next morning, he forcefully pushed me away and locked the door again.
I raised the biggest stink in history. I didn't care about causing a scene or what anyone thought. I made enough noise and kept it up till the landlady came up to see what was going on. When she found the door locked, she left and came back with keys. I know she didn't understand and I didn't have any way to explain. When she opened the door, I just hugged her. And broke down crying. She held me till I was in control again and she was talking the whole time. When she left she was shaking her head, probably in puzzlement and and amazed at the the foreign couple in her house.
I didn't go anywhere that first day. (My fourth in Germany) I was thinking. How was I going to react when G got back. How would he react when he found the door unlocked. I worried and stressed all day. I sat on my window seat and watched other women walking in the street. Some of them were obviously American. I still hadn't decided what to do when the time was drawing near for G's return and I was actually becoming afraid to face it. Then my amazing landlady did a surprising thing. She showed up at the door, (which I'd left wide open) with her keys. With gestures she was trying to make me understand she was going to lock the door again. She seemed to believe G shouldn't know. My mind was racing. Maybe she was right. It would give me time to let G know calmly that I would not live like that. Then the whole situation struck me as funny and I smiled at her and nodded. I had an alli in the very people G was protecting me from. She seemed relieved and hurried away after the door was locked.
Since I still didn't know what I was going to do, I didn't do anything all evening. I imagine G thought he'd won. I was sweet a pie. He never said a word either, though I caught some looks of confusion and he was nervous all evening. I knew I had to come up with a plan. I was not going to put up with his plan for me. Just knowing I didn't have to stay locked up gave me a sense of revenge and a feeling of power. That I was doing it behind his back actually made me feel good too.
The next morning I even told him goodbye nicely. He left with the funniest look on his face. He wasn't gone 5 minutes when I was released again. And, I didn't even have to yell. I gave her another hug, and she was laughing as she went back down the stairs. But, I knew this couldn't go on. I had to figure out how to end it, and hopefully in a way that wouldn't make matters worse.
posted by LeeAnn | 6:21 PM
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