First GrandChild

JT had known nothing of a child till he phoned "that woman." I'm sorry, but I can call her nothing else. When I learned another young mans name was on the birth certificate, my emotions were in turmoil. Regardless of my opinion of "her," the child wasn't to blame. If JT chose to be with her, I would make the best of it. I'm not sorry. The boy is important to me.

Bear and I drove over to Columbus to meet them. A first grandchild should be a time of excitement and expectation. I was consumed with conflicting emotions over suddenly being presented with a little boy almost a year old. My feelings when I first held the little one were nothing like they should be when meeting your first grandchild. He was a stranger. I could find nothing of my family or JT's Fathers family in him. (I disliked his Mother as much as I expected to.)

My journey with this young man over the years has been a strange one. I've come to love him every bit as much as if we'd been a real family. But, "that woman" made it impossible. Our relationship has been random and sporatic. JT didn't stay with her long. But the child and I wrote off and on as he grew up. And managed several visits. Then his Mother would remove him and I wouldn't know where to reach him. Suddenly she would contact me again. Off and on it went over the years.

On three seperate occasions, JT would receive a notice from the courts to appear for paternity tests. She was on welfare and the courts wanted child support. JT would make the trip from Toledo (where he ended up) back to Columbus. Missing work to be in court. But, each time, "that woman" would be in contempt of court by not showing up with her son. The first time, JT stopped to see me before driving back to Toledo with the news that when his case was called; three men stood up for the paternity test.

The child is now a young man; who still doesn't know who his real Father is. He has survived the angry years; for the most part. There is still bitterness and he isn't always sure who he's mad at. But I am, and always will be his Gram Lee. He met and married a very sweet young girl who's childhood was every bit as tormented as his own. I fell in love with her immediately. They have a beautiful little girl and a baby on the way. My "first great grandchilds" picture is on my fridge. They are so young and I fear the odds are against them. But he is very protective of her and there is an obvious and loving connection between them. I pray they will make it. For all he's been through, he is a young man to be proud of. He still disappears from my life for months at a time. But, he always comes back to me, eventually. Asking for and accepting nothing but that I'm still here and I care deeply.