My Oldest Son
JT had returned to his Father's house for his senior year of school. I missed the day to day activities of his teen years. And I still don't know the details of that senior year, so I can only write about the results I'm aware of.
I was told an Army Recruiter visited his school, and JT quit school to join the army. I was furious with his Father for allowing it. I was told the army would see that he got a G.E.D. and their discipline would be good for him. I was never told why he needed the discipline. I did fear that the shooting of his step-father and the turmoil of being sent back to Toledo in the middle of the mess might have had something to do with his problems.
Then I got a phone call from JT while he was in an army hospital. He was still in basic training. He said there was some horseplay on a 20 mile hike and his knee was busted up when he'd gone over an embankment. They gave him papers to sign relieving them of responsibility and ending his service. He told me he'd be home when he got out of the hospital.
No G.E.D. and no compensation for his injury and I couldn't do anything about it. Legally that was his Fathers responsibility. I guess when you're a young kid in the army, you do what you are ordered. But, he never should have signed those papers and his Father should have gotten him a lawyer. Or done something.
JT was just set adrift. He was too young to know what he wanted, and his Father did nothing to further his education. Without any goals, he drifted. Eventually he ended up back in Knox County. There were several jobs. I did insist he get his G.E.D. (Bear even went with him to classes for his own G.E.D.) None of the jobs worked out any better then the army had. He had a string of bad luck, just some of it his own doing. This went on for a few years.
Then I made a desperate attempt at "tough love." I gave him all the cash I could scrape together and bought him a bus ticket to Florida. I told him he couldn't keep expecting his family to support him. He had to sink or swim on his own.
It scared me to death. "Tough Love" was the catch word of the day. I had no idea if this was the right thing or not. All of his family, including all of his grandparents and even his Fathers second ex-wife, had already tried helping in every way we could. He'd even gotten some help from W while living with TK and W and taking a job where W worked. That went wrong too. It wasn't all JT's fault. He really did have a string of bad luck working against him. It only started with the knee injury in the service.
We chose Florida because at he time it was offering the best chance for jobs. He seemed excited about a new start and I was just praying it would all be ok. I put him on the bus. And, he disappeared. He was suppose to call me collect when he got to Florida. I was able to discover that he had used his ticket all the way to Florida, then the trail ended. I thought I'd killed my son. I'm still not proud of any part I had in anything he suffered while becoming a man. He's never told me much about that time, and I'm pretty much afraid to ask. Whatever it was, I'm responsible.
I was told an Army Recruiter visited his school, and JT quit school to join the army. I was furious with his Father for allowing it. I was told the army would see that he got a G.E.D. and their discipline would be good for him. I was never told why he needed the discipline. I did fear that the shooting of his step-father and the turmoil of being sent back to Toledo in the middle of the mess might have had something to do with his problems.
Then I got a phone call from JT while he was in an army hospital. He was still in basic training. He said there was some horseplay on a 20 mile hike and his knee was busted up when he'd gone over an embankment. They gave him papers to sign relieving them of responsibility and ending his service. He told me he'd be home when he got out of the hospital.
No G.E.D. and no compensation for his injury and I couldn't do anything about it. Legally that was his Fathers responsibility. I guess when you're a young kid in the army, you do what you are ordered. But, he never should have signed those papers and his Father should have gotten him a lawyer. Or done something.
JT was just set adrift. He was too young to know what he wanted, and his Father did nothing to further his education. Without any goals, he drifted. Eventually he ended up back in Knox County. There were several jobs. I did insist he get his G.E.D. (Bear even went with him to classes for his own G.E.D.) None of the jobs worked out any better then the army had. He had a string of bad luck, just some of it his own doing. This went on for a few years.
Then I made a desperate attempt at "tough love." I gave him all the cash I could scrape together and bought him a bus ticket to Florida. I told him he couldn't keep expecting his family to support him. He had to sink or swim on his own.
It scared me to death. "Tough Love" was the catch word of the day. I had no idea if this was the right thing or not. All of his family, including all of his grandparents and even his Fathers second ex-wife, had already tried helping in every way we could. He'd even gotten some help from W while living with TK and W and taking a job where W worked. That went wrong too. It wasn't all JT's fault. He really did have a string of bad luck working against him. It only started with the knee injury in the service.
We chose Florida because at he time it was offering the best chance for jobs. He seemed excited about a new start and I was just praying it would all be ok. I put him on the bus. And, he disappeared. He was suppose to call me collect when he got to Florida. I was able to discover that he had used his ticket all the way to Florida, then the trail ended. I thought I'd killed my son. I'm still not proud of any part I had in anything he suffered while becoming a man. He's never told me much about that time, and I'm pretty much afraid to ask. Whatever it was, I'm responsible.
posted by LeeAnn | 3:54 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home