Complications
My brothers had graduated while I was in Germany. Dad hadn't encouraged them to stay with farming. He believed there was no future for the family farm. He foresaw farms moving into big veture businesses, way back in the mid 60's. Still, it was a shock, at least to me, when he took his own advice and auctioned away everything and moved them to town after my return. Mom had grown up in town, but I couldn't believe my Father could ever be happy away from his angus cattle and the life he'd always known.
Mom was so excited the day we moved her into a rented house in town. The whole family had gathered to help with the move. It was a nice two story house on a quiet residential street. The first thing they brought in was the couch. My brothers set it down in the empty living room while Mom decided where to put it. She wasn't in any hurry and she was enjoying herself. Until that country mouse ran out of the couch. Mom was yelling at the boys to kill it and the terrified mouse was running every which way trying to avoid stomping feet in an empty room with no where to hide. Except back in the couch. When the mouse made it back to the couch, Mom started yelling to take that couch outside and burn it. She had no intention of sharing her new home with those filthy critters from the country. My brothers bounced the couch on the floor till the mouse ran out again, and after a lot more yelling and stomping, they did manage to destroy the mouse. But, Moms peace and happiness was also destroyed. She was a nervous wreck with everything that came off the truck after that. It could not be brought into the house till it had been shaken and dropped and bounced all over outside. I can only imagine how that move must have looked to the neighbors.
My parents were only in their early 40's and they settled into their new life with Dad working in a factory. They seemed content and Dad told me the factory was "OK", but the weekly paycheck made it a lot better than OK. That regular income was a new experience for the farmer. Still he was looking for more satisfying work and he was taking some home study courses, looking for a career.
When S moved J T and I back in with the folks, it was to a strange house in town. So, it wasn't really like going home again. And this was during the time my Mothers illness was getting bad. (See "Moms Illness" posted on March 9 and the following post, "Multiple Sclerosis and Mom.")
I hadn't worked since before going to Germany, when I worked for the telephone company. I didn't want to work their split shift again. Not with my son to take care of and Mom sick. Dad offered me a chance to go to a Business College or the Beauty Accadamy, both in our town. I chose the business college and went right back to school. It was a good program and I could go through at my own pace. So I was able to do a lot in a little time. I was also able to get a part time job in an office almost immediately. Soon they offered me full time and I took it.
Meanwhile, I had seen a lawyer and started divorce proceedings. And, discovered that by moving back to my hometown, I had to re-gain residency before the divorce could proceed. I had been out of the county too long. This meant I had to live there 6 months before I could even file.
G showed up about a week after I moved in. A snow storm had turned him back (his story) and he returned to find our apartment vacated and that J T and I were not living with his folks like he expected. He accused me of leaving him! All of his things were at his folks and I didn't feel I even owed him an explanation. He was free to go to his pregnant girlfriend. Which he did. But, the 6 month delay, while I waited for residency to file for divorce, meant it was going to be a race between delivering her baby and their being able to marry. G kept coming back to hassle me. He wanted me to return with him to his parents house and live, so I could file right away. I refused. How could he think it was my responsibility to help him solve his problem? I had school and shortly I had a job and even though he kept asking, I wouldn't even talk to him about it. Which made his girlfriend angry and put G in the hot seat. I have to admit, I took just a wee bit of pleasure in that fact. (That's what bitterness does to you.)
It worked out for them. Once I filed, my lawyer got things through quickly. My Parents and I met with the judge in his chambers and my marriage was over, just that easily. (Times have sure changed.) G was waiting at the courthouse, but they wouldn't even let him in chambers. They sent him to my lawyers office where he waited for the secretary to type up the papers right away. My lawyer told me that had never happened before, but they accommodated him. He left that same day with the papers he needed to get a marriage license and they were married just before their baby girl was born. She had a second girl before G was off with the next girlfriend. I lost track after that. His parents kept in touch with their Grandson and I let them take J T home with them one Sunday every month. But, G was out of his sons life till the boy was old enough to play ball and do "man things". Then he came back, because J T was his only son.
Mom was so excited the day we moved her into a rented house in town. The whole family had gathered to help with the move. It was a nice two story house on a quiet residential street. The first thing they brought in was the couch. My brothers set it down in the empty living room while Mom decided where to put it. She wasn't in any hurry and she was enjoying herself. Until that country mouse ran out of the couch. Mom was yelling at the boys to kill it and the terrified mouse was running every which way trying to avoid stomping feet in an empty room with no where to hide. Except back in the couch. When the mouse made it back to the couch, Mom started yelling to take that couch outside and burn it. She had no intention of sharing her new home with those filthy critters from the country. My brothers bounced the couch on the floor till the mouse ran out again, and after a lot more yelling and stomping, they did manage to destroy the mouse. But, Moms peace and happiness was also destroyed. She was a nervous wreck with everything that came off the truck after that. It could not be brought into the house till it had been shaken and dropped and bounced all over outside. I can only imagine how that move must have looked to the neighbors.
My parents were only in their early 40's and they settled into their new life with Dad working in a factory. They seemed content and Dad told me the factory was "OK", but the weekly paycheck made it a lot better than OK. That regular income was a new experience for the farmer. Still he was looking for more satisfying work and he was taking some home study courses, looking for a career.
When S moved J T and I back in with the folks, it was to a strange house in town. So, it wasn't really like going home again. And this was during the time my Mothers illness was getting bad. (See "Moms Illness" posted on March 9 and the following post, "Multiple Sclerosis and Mom.")
I hadn't worked since before going to Germany, when I worked for the telephone company. I didn't want to work their split shift again. Not with my son to take care of and Mom sick. Dad offered me a chance to go to a Business College or the Beauty Accadamy, both in our town. I chose the business college and went right back to school. It was a good program and I could go through at my own pace. So I was able to do a lot in a little time. I was also able to get a part time job in an office almost immediately. Soon they offered me full time and I took it.
Meanwhile, I had seen a lawyer and started divorce proceedings. And, discovered that by moving back to my hometown, I had to re-gain residency before the divorce could proceed. I had been out of the county too long. This meant I had to live there 6 months before I could even file.
G showed up about a week after I moved in. A snow storm had turned him back (his story) and he returned to find our apartment vacated and that J T and I were not living with his folks like he expected. He accused me of leaving him! All of his things were at his folks and I didn't feel I even owed him an explanation. He was free to go to his pregnant girlfriend. Which he did. But, the 6 month delay, while I waited for residency to file for divorce, meant it was going to be a race between delivering her baby and their being able to marry. G kept coming back to hassle me. He wanted me to return with him to his parents house and live, so I could file right away. I refused. How could he think it was my responsibility to help him solve his problem? I had school and shortly I had a job and even though he kept asking, I wouldn't even talk to him about it. Which made his girlfriend angry and put G in the hot seat. I have to admit, I took just a wee bit of pleasure in that fact. (That's what bitterness does to you.)
It worked out for them. Once I filed, my lawyer got things through quickly. My Parents and I met with the judge in his chambers and my marriage was over, just that easily. (Times have sure changed.) G was waiting at the courthouse, but they wouldn't even let him in chambers. They sent him to my lawyers office where he waited for the secretary to type up the papers right away. My lawyer told me that had never happened before, but they accommodated him. He left that same day with the papers he needed to get a marriage license and they were married just before their baby girl was born. She had a second girl before G was off with the next girlfriend. I lost track after that. His parents kept in touch with their Grandson and I let them take J T home with them one Sunday every month. But, G was out of his sons life till the boy was old enough to play ball and do "man things". Then he came back, because J T was his only son.
posted by LeeAnn | 11:48 AM
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