Before His Death

Joe had worked the same job since graduation. (Brother S worked there too.) Except for Joe's tour of duty in the Marines. Most of which he spent in Hawaii as a jet mechanic. He was an extremely handsome man (not just my opinion) and made friends easily. He didn't marry till his late 20's. The marriage ended when his wife brought home a boyfriend.

For a year before his death he had been on a medical leave from work. He wouldn't even tell Mom the details, but it was something in his throat. His voice was raspy and sometimes he couldn't talk at all. My parents believed he had throat cancer. Because of how long he was off work and his avoidance of telling them anything. They accepted his death as being suicide.

Dad was raised when men didn't show emotion. He was a rock, but he kept running from the Sheriffs office to home. Trying to discover all he could and hurrying home to check on Mom. By then we knew she had Multiple Sclerosis. Stress is not good for M.S. sufferers and what can be more stressful than a son being shot in the head. Then having the body held and having no idea of when we could plan a funeral. It left us not knowing who to call and what to say.

I'll tell you what was worse for me. Having the newspaper in Wyandot County print the picture of the truck on it's front page with a story about a "Loner" who had no friends or family who cared enough to report him missing. They printed that without talking to anyone for the real story. We hadn't reported Joe missing because he'd seen us and told us he was going on a trip out west to Yellowstone. He'd been studying a course to be a Forest Ranger while he was off work on the medical leave. And he wanted to see what else he had to do to work with the National Park System. He thought his Marine training would also be a plus. He'd been cheerful when he shared his plans and talked of his future. It was shortly after New Years and it was the last time I saw him.

It didn't seem strange to us that he didn't call anyone for that couple of weeks. We all believed he was out west. The newspaper article made me sick. But, my folks didn't want to do anything about it. They felt it would be even more upsetting to argue with the paper. Mom reasoned that anyone who knew Joe would know it wasn't true. She had no fight left and I couldn't go against her. I still get upset when I remember what was printed and knowing some people would read that and believe it of my brother. But, I guess that is just one more horror of that week that I can't get out of my memory. I still cringe when I see the media printing without concern for those family and loved ones who are already suffering. And, I don't believe a word I read!