February 1978

1978 was, and still is, the worst year of my life. It was Valentines day, a Tuesday, when I got the phone call from Dad. There was still a lot of snow from the blizzard. Some areas were still unaccessible due to drifts. The phone call was to tell me someone had found Joe's body in his GMC Jimmy buried in the snow in one of those areas. Then Dad had more to say, but he was hesitating. I coulnd't imagine what could be worse or what else he needed to tell me. He said he didn't want to tell me anything when I was alone. It was around 10 P.M. and W wouldn't get off his shift till midnight. I had to promise Dad I would call him home as soon as I hung up the phone. Then Dad told me it looked like Joe's death was a suicide. They wouldn't be releasing the body soon, but we could come home and stay with Mom in the morning.

I phoned W at work to tell him my brother was dead. This was 5 years after his Mother's suicide. I will never forget my shock when my husband told me it was only an hour and a half till his shift ended. He'd come home then. By the time he got there, I didn't care anymore if he came home.

The next morning W stayed home so he could go back to work on time. I got TK ready for the bus, then I drove to my parents alone. The last thing W told me was to be sure I was home again to meet the bus.

Thus was set the pattern of the rest of that week. W never did go with me and I always had to be back for TK after school. Finally on Friday, I thought to ask Beth to watch TK so I could be with Mom longer. I drove to Marion every morning. I guess it was only three days or so, it seemed longer. Dad would leave when I got there to try to find out what had happened.

I am going to stick to my own memories of this time. The grief of my family is not for me to describe. My Brother S, is still alive and I won't try to explain what I don't know of his experience during any of this. Dad said they had all been questioned by the sheriff. I don't know any more of that. Dad never told me what the questions were. I know the family had been trying to find Joe's friend Ron. Ron had inherited a house from his GrandMother, and he lived downstairs and rented the upstairs apartment to Joe after Joe's divorce. When Dad (or Steve) was finally able to reach Ron, we discovered the sheriff had kept Ron for questioning most of the day. That is all I remember of that first day. Except sitting with Mom in shock and disbelief and not knowing what was happening.

Maybe the first day, maybe later, I learned that a boy had been walking in the Killdeer Plains Area of Wyandot County on Valentines Day and come across Joe and his truck. My Brother had been shot in the head with a 22 pistol, and bled to death. This had to have happened before the blizzard and the truck was burried in snow. His body was frozen and we were told an autopsy would be preformed after it thawed.

When something like this happens, you have to know what happened. But, each detail is just one more horrid shock. It seemed to go on and on each day as I drove alone, 50 miles each way to be with my family for as long as I could. W would be asleep when I left in the morning and at work when I got home. When I did see him, (when he came home from work because I couldn't sleep) he wouldn't let me talk about it. He didn't want to hear. I tried to tell myself it was the reminder of his Mother's suicide that was effecting him. But, I couldn't help resenting his actions. Her suicide had returned to hurt me too. I just wanted his support, and he couldn't give it. I can't even remember what I told my family about any of that. I'm not sure they even asked, and I'm pretty sure they didn't care by then if he was with us.